A concert there by local bar-based cover band The Mac (themacmusic.com) afforded my visiting sister and afforded me an opportunity to rate yet another Columbus staple, the Grandview Cafe (henceforth referred to as “GC”) at West Third and Grandview Avenues. A neighborhood pub, the restaurant combines an Old Bag of Nails feel with the requisite “look-at-me-I-can-pay-too-much-for-tiny-housing” attitude of Grandview. Housed in a perfectly decent two-level, the restaurant and principal bar sit on the ground floor, while a secondary bar, with live entertainment, occupies the second floor.

I had already made my fare-related decisions well in advance, having looked up the online menu (http://grandviewcafe.com/menu.pdf). I was primed to order either the GC’s (Almost) Famous London Broil, presumably a Beef Wellington-style course, or the Flat Iron Steak. Also, the Buckeye Mousse did not escape my attention. However, before either of these, I was struck by the audacious claims by GC that their hummus and grilled pita was the “best hummus in Columbus. Try the rest and get back to us. We’ll be ready with ‘Told ya so’.”

My stubbornly-ingrained cynicism immediately kicked in and advised me that, of all the places to find the superlative example of a Middle Eastern dish, the least likely candidate would be a yuppie pub full of drunk (albeit HOT) college girls, irksome corporate Gen Xers and past-their-prime-but-still-self-absorbed Baby Boomers. Having recently reacquainted myself with the hummus of Cafe Shish Kebab (aka “The Sheesh”) and the Pita Hut, I was ready for the Columbus Hummus Championship Smack-Down to begin!

Well, first we actually had to order. After requesting the hummus and pita, my companion ordered the Flat Iron Steak , so I figured I’d go with the London Broil. Alas, despite GC’s ability to write out several specials on its chalkboards outside, nobody thought to post the fact that the GC’s (Almost) Famous London Broil wasn’t quite popular enough (even “after years of R&D” during which they’d “perfected marinating/grilling technique”) to earn its keep. “We’re getting new menus”, our server assured us. Guess it was too much to even update the website. Oh, well: I ordered a medium-well Flat Iron Steak, with a side salad and baked potato, and it was onto the Columbus Hummus Championship Smack-Down!

But first, I had to get my salad.

Then we got our main courses.

(GAH, like, what did you expect: the appetizer FIRST??)

It seems our under-worked, wonderfully-gorgeous server had somehow forgotten that we had ordered hummus. I knew something was amiss when I received my salad first, but should have guessed we were “headin’ for a whole lot-ta trouble” (thanks again, Diamond Dave) when she took our order without the aid of those accessories that have been staples of the server’s profession from time immemorial (no, not Marlboro Lights), the pen and paper. I politely informed her of the conspicuous absence of hummus. Apparently stunned that she was capable of such a mistake, our main courses were whisked away and our hummus brought out quickly. NOW it was time for the Columbus Hummus Championship Smack-Down!

While our courses, in all likelihood (look, I was a server for three years, okay?), stewed under the heat lamps, we got right to work on the appetizer. I will not begrudge the GC that its hummus is certainly more than edible, even good. However, as mentioned before, GC is in the midst of a “No challenges, please, we’re middle class” part of town. The hummus was OK, but nothing special. It was an expensive, reasonably-tasting chip dip. While Middle Eastern food is far from a staple of my diet, I have had the hummus of SEVERAL different places in Columbus and this example is far down the list. Keep the “Told ya so” to yerself, GC.

Now, “fresh” from the kitchen, came our entrees. In welcome contrast to the hummus, the steaks were wonderfully done. Although on the rare side of medium-well, my steak was thoroughly enjoyable and nicely complemented with a buttered baked potato and pint o’ Guinness. No complaints, just contentment, came from the other side of the table. Reasonably priced, this simple dinner needs no more recommendation.

The DESSERT, on the other hand, merits a bit more space.

The Buckeye Mousse is a simple sweetie: chocolate mousse, with a center of peanut butter mousse, served in a martini glass and “garnished” with a sizable buckeye (that wonderful confection of which even Michigan fans must be enthralled). I’ve had fluffier mousse, but this OSU-inspired concoction was MORE than worth the $5.99. A fine ending to a perfectly serviceable dining experience.

And then, “Rock and Roll!”, “RAWK AN ROLL!!”, “Hello, Columbus!!”

- Bloviator Joe (special guest reviewer)

I do like Middle Eastern food quite a lot, and have eaten a great deal of hummus; made a great deal of hummus, as well. I looked forward to the GC’s offering with mouth-watering anticipation, even. Alas, I was disappointed. Taken all together, the dish was good; the hummus had a generous portion of chopped Kalamata olives on the side (yum!) and a nice puddle of very passable pesto. The olives, pesto, and hummus made a wonderful combination; unusual, flavorful, artfully done. By itself, though, the hummus was bland. I could detect no flavor in it other than garbanzos and tahini, and that is not a sign of “the best in Columbus”.

My steak, the Flatiron, was ordered medium-rare, and was delivered QUITE rare. I decided to eat it anyway, and was rewarded with an outrageously delightful meal. It’s nice to be repaid by the cosmos for not being too fussy and just going with the flow for once! And contrary to our fears when the entrees were whisked away the first time so that the forgotten hummus could come out, our plates did not just go and sit under the heat lamps; I doubt any steak could have held in that condition for as long as it took us to eat the appetizer, and the server did not rush us.

- Mini Nance (special guest reviewer)

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